Ok, so that seems like it will be one heck of a handful of topics to cover in one post – particularly a post that literally nobody will ever read, because, you know, it’s complete drivel and only matters to me haha
But that’s ok, it’s cathartic to write, and while I have a legitimate journal that I handwrite in, this is a place where I would like to get out some of my more public thoughts. Even if it is only so at some stage when i’m old and grey I can come back and hopefully show myself that optimism pushed us in the right direction, the world is a better place and my nieces and nephews will have even more opportunities than I ever had.
First, the fitness part … My fitness journey has been a longer-term rollercoaster, a few years within a healthy weight range and then a slow and gradual increase to an unhealthy state, and then due to a combination of shame and nudging from loved ones I have started back toward losing the weight that had previously crept on. I am happy to say that as of this post I am 500+ days into a journey that is different to the others, and it’s not one of losing weight, it’s one of changing the way I look at food, the way I look at exercise and the way I think about how things are placed into my body. So as I write this i’ve done 135 classes over the past two years (which does not seem right as i’ve not missed that many classes and I’d have to say I did 40 classes a year, twice a week, but alas I digress) and my fitness levels have gone from absolutely horrible to i’m now in 2nd or 3rd place across the entire gym for the cardio challenge, a rather grueling 20+ minutes hardcore workout that pushes you well into V02Max level from the get-go.
Now onto the weight loss part … The weight loss journey started a few months after the exercise one – I really just stumbled upon some ads on instragram one day that was talking about intermittent fasting (IF) and those ads were well targeted because I liked the idea of giving it a try, plus there was an app I could download for $2 for the first 6 months that gave me sexy graphs and timers – how could a boy like me refuse :). Unlike all those other fads, something happened with me, it worked – I mean it really, really worked. I lost weight 99% of weeks for a period of 18 months, I dropped 60lbs and that enabled me to become even fitter and most importantly got me back onto my road bike which I absolutely love.
The search for happiness….. If you don’t know me, and let’s be honest if you’ve only read my 12 posts over the past few years then you have absolutely zero idea, I am a big (read: huge) fan of going to therapy – and for me that has been a journey that has lasted well over a decade, showing up twice, sometimes even 3 times a week over a very long time to get my brain to a point where I am actually able to self-actualize and use my skills to self-identify, self-reflect and self-action challenges that face me. While I don’t always get those diagnoses right, I do get them right a lot of the time and that has enabled me to develop a personality and humanness about me that I have not experienced over the first 45 years of my life. Alas, more about that on a new post, which i’m going to try to load up, that is alongside the physical and now mobile devices, all that deserve my attention. Hey, we can’t all be perfect.